Is it worth the inconvenience?

Recent reflections have brought me to understand that I've avoided many things because when they are sufficiently inconvenient — even if those things brings me joy, fulfillment, and health. If seeing a friend might take planning and coordination, I may forego the call; if going to a cafe to do work takes a 15 minute commute on a rainy day, I may choose to stay home; if I can't be bothered to plan the lodging and the flight, I may go for months without seeing my family in other states.

This leads to big loss over time. Activities I love and people I love — things that uplift me, give me a sense of life and lightness — may be forgone altogether when they're inconvenient. It's a pattern I want to change.

I am practicing the living of a phrase: embrace the inconvenient. Keep my commitments — to my finances, to my exercise, to my music, to my friends, to my family — but embrace the fact that life will bring annoyances and inconveniences. I embrace a new determination, that regardless of inconvenience, I will follow through with my commitments.

A new set of priorities is entering my commitments — to regularly visit friends and family, to go to cafes I love, to travel to new places, to go out and have fun. The pandemic has made these more inconvenient — taking COVID tests before seeing some friends, understanding that flight routes may be less available, knowing that Google maps may not have the most up-to-date info on a venue that is 30 minutes away and may actually be closed.

This aversion to inconvenience is caked an obsession with efficiency. I have wanted my processes to be as efficient as possible — often demanding ideal conditions before taking a step forward. It's the pathology of perfectionism — assuming that work done inefficiently may not be worth the effort when I could theoretically perform the same work at a more efficient time or location.

There's of course merit in performing work in preferable conditions — I can be more creative when I have all my music tools in the studio; I can code more performantly when I have a high-speed internet connection; I can get in a quicker workout when I go to the gym on off-hours. I've found, however, that a daily commitment to a practice — regardless of circumstance or convenience — has brought me tangible results. The terraforming of my environment to meet the ideal conditions of whatever craft, however, has stunted my progress.

I now look forward to the embrace. The power of commitment and determination has been the key, the strength behind the embrace.

I embrace the inconvenient.