It's not just about cutting your losses, it's about knowing where you stand. It's about knowing who you are and want to be.

I'm familiar with the rules of negotiation, the process, the theory. Anchor low, hide your highest, let the back and forth exhaust parties to a conclusion.

I had a disagreement with a contractor. We both had gripes about the work product, the funding, and what is owed. I stated what I wanted to pay based on issues with his work product. He took my proposal as a personal insult. The back and forth has already exhausted me emotionally.

I asked myself what kind of businessman do I want to be, how do I want to show up. I want to stand up and advocate for myself — to state what I believe to be true and protect myself. I also want to be good and fair to those I deal with — but without resentful concession.

Offering more than you think you owe — and perhaps too: more than what you can get away with — is often a worthwhile cost for conclusion. This is the whole idea behind a settlement agreement — both parties compromise for the sake of ending a war. And war is always so costly.

I firmly offered my maximum in an attempt to stop a dragged out emotional game of posturing who is more correct. I don't have time to deal with that baggage, and I don't want to live my life where I have ongoing battles. Offering my maximum feels respectful of both our time, and I am glad that I did not play into the tug of war of negotiation.

Sometimes it's just not worth it.