So many of us want our conversations to go beyond the shallow—beyond the small talk. We want something deeper and more meaningful.

Here’s the twist: deeper isn’t always better. More profound isn’t always preferable.

Look, I have a bias. I tend to lean toward wanting deeper, more stimulating conversations. Small talk really isn’t my thing. But you can’t live in the depths all the time. Not every conversation should carry the heaviest weight. Depth, nonstop, burns out the body and the social ecosystem. It’s not the whole range.

Imagine scuba diving and spending all your time at the very bottom. The pressure builds. Your body tightens. You can’t live there. Even divers have to equalize as they descend—and decompress on the way back up. You move through depth; you don’t set up camp there.

Depth isn’t the ultimate goal. Range is.

We want to be able to thrive at all levels—above the surface, just under it, mid-depth, and deep down. That range lets us relate, to meet each other where we’re at. Not everyone dives to the same depth. Not all of our bodies, not all of our minds can handle the same pressure. And that’s okay.

There’s power in being able to connect across the range—not always living in the depths, and not always floating on the surface.

Range isn’t just for divers; musicians live by it.

This reminds me of something a close friend—one of the best bass players I’ve ever met—once told me. He’s like the next-generation Edgar Meyer, a brilliant classical musician and a rare mind.

When I asked him about playing with musicians of different skill levels, he said:

“There will always be players better than you. There will always be players worse than you. The trick to being a great musician—to being a whole musician—is to understand how to play with the range of folks, whether they’re better or worse, so you can create something together regardless of where you land.”

That, to me, is the essence of musicianship. And of connection in general.

The true skillfulness isn’t in how deep you can go, or how profound your insights are—it’s in your range. In your ability to meet people where they are, and still make something beautiful together.