Trust your gut. Don't make decisions when you're emotional. Both ring true—and they seem to contradict each other.

Here's what I've come to understand: they're not actually in conflict. They're telling you different things.

the case for the gut

Your gut feeling isn't woo-woo nonsense. Your stomach and heart have tens of thousands of neurons—they process information and give you insight in their own language. That sense that something's off about a person, a situation, an environment? It's material information. Real data, delivered in a different format than your thinking mind is used to.

the case against emotions

But emotions—the feelings of conviction, fear, anger, infatuation—may not lead you somewhere good.

Modern psychology has made this almost commonplace: people raised in volatile environments often seek volatility in their relationships. If there was yelling and intensity in your family, you may unconsciously seek it in romance. When things are calm and stable, something feels wrong—even if the relationship is, by all measures, healthy.

Your emotions lead you toward the familiar. Familiar isn't the same as healthy.

the resolution

So how do you know when to trust the gut and when to distrust the feelings?

Maybe you don't have to choose.

Consider this: your gut can be right about a situation while your emotional response to it is disproportionate. The assessment is accurate. The reaction is overblown.

You sense someone has ulterior motives. Something about how they relate to you doesn't sit right. You can't articulate it, but you know it to your core. That's probably correct.

But then you spiral. You want to act, resolve, mitigate—the survival instinct kicks in and demands a response.

Here's the insight: the information can be correct without requiring action. Your gut's assessment can be right while your instinct to act on it is wrong.

when it clicks

You see someone jockeying for power at work—dismissing others, loudly advocating for themselves. Something about it creates discomfort. And maybe you're right that they're ambitious and willing to step on people to get what they want.

But does that mean you need to enter survival mode? Probably not. It feels like a threat. It may not actually be one.

The gut's read can be accurate. The spiral doesn't have to follow.

the work

The wisdom isn't suppressing your gut or ignoring your emotions. It's knowing which one is giving you information and which one is demanding a response—and recognizing they can be out of sync.

Navigate the waves without being destructive. Trust your read without trusting your reaction.

The balance isn't found by choosing sides. It's found by knowing yourself well enough to see when your gut is speaking truth and your emotions are speaking fear.