Sometimes you can only do the best that you can. The question is not about what went right or who was right; it's more about:

• Are you happy with how you did?
• Are you happy with how you showed up?
• Are you okay with the way that you behaved?

This goes back to a simple principle I return to often from The Four Agreements: “Do your best. No more, no less.”

I had a small but challenging conversation with a colleague this week. I wanted to build a healthier, more amicable relationship and asked that if they had feedback for me, they come to me directly. I approached it with good faith. Courteous, not defensive. Genuinely wanting to build a better partnership.

Their response? Immediate defensiveness. They told me I needed to have empathy for their situation, and that given the context, they’d gone to their manager instead. My reply was: “Heard, understood. I validate your perspective. All I’m saying is that I want to have a healthy, happy working relationship with you, and I respect you. I want you to feel comfortable coming to me if there are any misses because I want to make sure I’m showing up right.”

Even so, I noticed her body language on the call — itching to leave, being polite but distracted, moving quickly to the next task. She admitted she gets overwhelmed, has trouble maintaining boundaries, and finds the workplace itself overwhelming. I walked away with anxiety and frustration. I wanted a different outcome. But I can’t control that.

That’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way — especially in family life: you can’t guarantee your words will change someone else’s behavior. You can only hope to influence by how you show up. What you can control is whether you show up with integrity.

And in this case, I can say to myself: I have nothing to apologize for. I did my best. I addressed an issue that would have eaten at me. I acted in good faith, with respect, with a desire to collaborate. That’s all I can do.

Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe she’s fine. Maybe it won’t fester. But that’s outside my control. The crux of it is knowing what you can and cannot control — and being at peace with how you showed up.

If I get let go from this position, the question I’ll ask myself is simple: “Did I do my best?”
If the answer is yes, then even if it stings (and rejection always stings), I can rest in that.

Jobs end. Fits aren’t always right. But if we show up with good faith, kindness, and genuine effort — if we take responsibility for how we behave in the moment — then we can walk away with peace.

At the end of the day, what more can you ask for?
Sometimes it really is just about doing your best.

And whatever happens after that? Maybe it was always in the cards.